Maybe Hip Hop Is Freaking Dead

Thick and I lasted past these rat bastards
They try to box me in like Cassius Clay
Hey I'm like Muhammad when he fasted...

The Jonas Brothers don't get any play here on the SG. The reason is pretty simple: here at the Slushy Gutter we adhere to three pillars. One, beer; the Jonas Brothers dont drink. Two, Colorado Sports; I've never seen the Jonas Brothers rocking a Steve Atwater throwback or talking the Avs' draft needs. Three, Hip Hop. The Jonas Brothers have no dap in the arena...until now.

The trio have enlisted Common for a track. Yes, Common, formerly Common Sense. More than a decade and a half in the game. "Soul By The Pound". He completely murdered Ice Cube on "The Bitch In Yoo." SG year end honors. One of the few cats who will actually go off the dome when asked to freestyle. "I Used To Love H.E.R." Politically and socially conscious. Producers flock to work with him- J Dilla, DJ Premier, No ID.

Collabos with Q-Tip, Lauryn Hill, Black Thought, Kanye West, Cee-Lo, Will.i.am, The Beatnuts, De La Soul, Pharoah Monch, The Game, Brand Nubian, and now...

The Jonas Brothers.

(No link/download here, but trust me, it's out there...dammit Google that shit if you think I'm drunk again.)

Yes, Rakim once spit a verse for Jodi Watley, KRS once chanted on a REM song, Busta Rhymes and Ozzy Osbourne once tried to ruin music, Treach and Biggie rocked out with the King of Pop, UTFO and PE worked horribly with Anthrax, and Lord knows what the fuck Puffy was doing with Jimmy Page.

But all of those non-rock acts had garnered some attention from critics, people in the know, or people over 16. ***

Maybe Common got paid. Maybe the Jonas Brothers had some compromising picts of him that they were going to show to Serena Williams. Maybe they were the only people to see Smokin Aces. But, damn, Common...really?

I'm willing to give him a pass this one time. If that song ever pierces my ears again I might just forget about Resurrection completely. If I see him perform that joint on Oprah or SNL his verse from this summer's hot "Make Her Say" will be erased from my mind. And if I see him pop up on a Jonas Brothers lunch box or on a Hannah Montana track...

( ***RELATED: Two equally teen-friendly acts from the 90's, New Kids on the Block once had Nice and Smooth on a track, and Brian Austin Green from 90210 actually released an entire rap album that featured Slim Kid Tre from the Pharcyde.)