Friday, June 05, 2009

Avs Nab Their Man?

All across the room, on the ceilings and the walls too
Punk muthafuckas didnt know I had the balls to...

Wanted: One General Manager of a National Hockey League franchise-
Expert understanding of the game of hockey not required. Intimate knowledge of hockey players throughout the world, from international leagues, high school teams, junior programs, and minor league teams not necessary. Knowledge of the rules of the game, strategy, and hockey locker room dynamics is minimum.

Preferred candidate should be a graduate of a preppy Colorado high school, where candidate did not play hockey (preferably because it wasn’t offered as a sport.) Candidate should have excelled at baseball in both high school and in a college setting. Some work in accounting for toity firm is an added plus. Retail and accounting work is a must.
Candidate must demonstrate the ability to be puppeteered by upper management and intimidated by peers who have hockey flowing in their blood lines. mUst be able to negotiate a muddied financial situation with players and contracts due to the inability of a pervious GM with similar attributes as successful candidate.

Love of Celine Dion is an absolute requirement.
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