Feeling the Draft

Hey Peter, Peter, you fat pumpkin eater

You know I kicks flavor just like Velveeta...

The Broncos drafted six offensive players and four on the defensive side of the ball this week in the NFL Draft. The SG puts on their Mel Kiper pompadour and breaks down the selections:

Knowshon Moreno, RB- Welcome to the Denver Broncos, Knowshon. There are ten other RBs on the roster. Perhaps we will play all ten at once? let's see those defensive geniuses across the NFL try to defend that!

Roberts Ayers, DE- Yes, it is nearly May and that is snow you see out there, Robert. Hope you brought your moon boots.

Alphonso Smith, CB- Champ Bailey needs you to pick up his dry cleaning, rookie.

Darcel McBath, S- Played at Texas Tech, where they threw 60+ times a game. Therefore, he saw 100+ passes per practice. Expect Darcel to just go looney when Kyle Orton drops back to pass in practice the first time.

Richard Quinn, TE- This screams Tony Scheffler being traded. Good job Quinn, you little homewrecker.

David Bruton, S- Hey, his name rhymes with crouton!

Seth Olson, G- Someone must've told McHoody that 'G' stands for "Get that quarterback!"

Kenny McKinley, WR- Steve Spurrier said that McKinley was the best wide receiver he's ever coached. Somewhere, Travis McGriff weeps.

Tom Brandstater, QB- Hey, his name is 'Tom.' His name ends in 'B.' We picked him in the sixth round! Super Bowl trophies, GQ covers, and hummers from Brazilian super models for everyone!

Blake Schlueter, C- Well dammit, if they are gonna make us draft in the seventh round, we might as well take a center since our center is in his mid 30s. Damn, I guess drafting for our specific needs would've been a good strategy to use this whole time.

RELATED: WC & Maad Circle - "Dress Code" - "Go strike a G.Q. pose, I got soul in my stroll"