Snake Bitten

Time for a station... identification

Wack rappers, open up your eyes, time for lyrical elevation...

Well I guess I'll have to hang onto those "162-0" t-shirts for another year. My "Perfect Rocks" tagline won't be needed this year.

The Rockies made sure of that in their strange Season Opener versus the Snakes, watching a wild 9-8 loss.

I say strange because if you're looking at the game as what is to be expected of the upcoming season, it surely didn't seem like it.

The "stapposed" ace of the staff was in the showers while alot of the drunk frat boys were still arriving at the ballpark. Seth Smith, one to cause concern in the lineup, because he's Seth Smith blasted a HR late in the game. The bullpen that we kept hearing was improved didn't look too "improved." Ian Stewart, who allegedly plays the infield with a frying pan, looked particularly adept and fluid at 2nd base. (Seriously though, Stewart needs to be in there everday.) And the reemergence of Todd Helton translated into a 1-4 day.

About the only thing that went according to script was Chris Iannetta is on track to be the Rox first stud catcher ever and Clint Hurdle looked like he was wondering where he parked his car.

As baseball goes though, there's another game today, and after that there's 160 more. Let's hope those go a bit better, because I'm holding out hope those "161-1" hats will fly off the shelves.

RELATED: Eric B. & Rakim - "Juice (Know The Ledge)" - "When I cook beef, the smoke will never clear, areas interfere but this here's severe"