Donks' Young Buck

It's McDaniels, not McDonald's

These rhymes are Darryl's, the burgers are Ronald's...

Questions and Answers about the new Broncos’ head coach:

-32 years old? He can’t run for president, he can buy beer and see nudie flicks. He is more apt to talk to his players about their favorite PS3 games, old “Ren & Stimpy” episodes, or getting photos of his real 32 year old friends of them playing Texas Hold Em with Hooter’s waitresses.

-John Carroll University? The football powerhouse; the school that produced...John Carroll? Joe Barry Carroll? Carol Burnett?

-Hoodies? We’ve seen McDaniels in a dapper gray hoody like his mentor, Bill Belichick. Pat Bowlen already has the Bronco equipment staff digging through John Mobley’s old stash to get the new coach a hoody with those initials already on it. Cost savings!

-Defensive coach? Bowlen hired an offensive coach, but everyone is quick to point out McDaniels was a “defensive assistant” in his early Patriots’ days. Those defensive coaches needed coffee, copies, dry cleaning runs, and getting Rodney Harrison his Jay-Z concert tickets.

-New ‘D’ coordinator? Rumors are it’ll be former Niners’ head honcho Mike Nolan. Yes, that Mike Nolan of the fancy suits on the sideline ala Dan reeves circa 1986. That way he looks like McDaniels’ older suave uncle.

-Keep the offensive staff? Jay Cutler loves him some Jeremy Bates, Bobby Thompson is a Denver standard, and Rick Dennison’s line was outstanding this past year. Keep them all and fire the Barrel Man.

-Similarities to New England? Temperamental wide receiver: check. QB with a sense of entitlement: check. Strong ownership: check. Passionate fans with funny accents: sorry. Three recent Super Bowl titles: not even close.

RELATED: EPMD f/ K-Solo & Redman - "Headbanger" - "No jokin, I'm gettin paid fully, you wanna buy the cassette, stop by Sam Goody, yo where's my hoody!?"