Tuesday, May 20, 2008

No Deal Howie

If robbery's a class, bet I pass it
Sh*t get drastic, I'm buryin' ya bastards...

Howie: Now, Denver Nuggets and their fans, here is what the Nets banker is offering for your case of Carmelo Anthony and Marcus Camby... his offer... his offer is Richard Jefferson, Marcus Williams, Keith Van Horn's contract, and draft picks! (Crowd ahhhhs) Now, Denver... deal or no deal?

Denver: Howie, has the banker been breathing the fumes from the swamps of Northern Jersey? You do know this is Carmelo Anthony, not a Caramelo candy bar? The same Carmelo that is an all-star starter, a member of the US National Team, and a 20 point scorer. Yes, he has his issues on and off the court...but Marcus Williams? Is he a gospel singer?

Howie: Deal? Or no deal?

Denver: When you used to blow up those gloves on your head, were they filled with poisonous gas? Marcus Camby, the former defensive player of the year, a player capable of changing the game for the other team anywhere in the paint. For Richard Jefferson? Nice player, but come on. You could throw in George Jefferson and it wouldn't matter.

Howie: Denver organization...deal...or no deal?

Denver: Draft picks? The 10th and 20th? As in the 10th player off the bench and a D-League Colorado 20er or Tulsa 20th-er or whatever? Howie, where you roughed up in Jersey by Paulie Walnuts or something?

Howie: Time is ticking, deal or no deal?

Denver: No deal, Kojak. And by the way, I soaked my hand in a box of used rectal exam gloves before our fist pump greeting; I licked all the door knobs in your office; and I had my crazy Uncle Tino rub his testicles on your steering wheel, your germaphobe freak.

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9 Comments:

Anonymous fresh said...

RJ isn't quite on the same talent level as Carmelo, but one could argue that his style of play is a better pairing for Iverson. Now whether or not AI, rather than Carmelo, is someone you want to build your team around at this point in his career is a separate issue, but I don't think the trade scenario is that lopsided.

I will admit that it does favor NJ, but the 10 pick in this draft could get you a decent big man in return - Kevin Love seems to be in the 7-12 range in most of the mock drafts I've seen - and while Marcus Williams may not be an ideal starting pg, he's a serviceable backup.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous kid koala said...

When I was in college in the DC area, there was this total burnout who lived down the complex from me. He swore he dropped acid with Howie Mandel. I still dont believe him, but it was a funny story.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Hercules Rockefeller said...

Keep your laptops out of sight.

Terrible, terrible trade if it goes down.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous punch jaybiz in the package said...

only make that trade if the 1976 New Jersey Nets Dr J is reincarnated and added in. afro included.

3:04 PM  
Blogger Commish CH said...

^Fresh- Great point on the way RJ and AI would play off eachother. Im not really sold on Love, may be a decent career backup?

^Koala- Nice, did he smoke up with Gallagher after that?

^Herc- It appears the trade rumors are squashing, but now Melo is "mad" about them. Ugh.

^Punch- 6'7, 7'1 with the afro.

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