Free Agent Frenzy?

Kick styles by the piles, as I leave a trail for miles
Skins when I please, hit from here to Tel Aviv...

While the rest of the NFL goes on the free agent feeding frenzy, the Donks have chose to make their big splashes by:

-Re-signing Nate Jackson (Print up those playoff tickets! He used to be a wide receiver, now he's a tight end. Or is it the other way? So he's a hybrid type guy? Either way, he's not very good at either of them, so he's a dirty Honda Prius that the weirdo guy in the cubicle by the copier drives.)

-Signing Kerry Colbert (Find me one fantasy league where this dude isn’t always on the Waiver Wire. And if you can't, it is the worse fantasy league in the world; who's your other starter at WR? Al Toon?)

-Signing Niko Koutouvides to a three year deal (Seriously, did this dude even play in the NFL or is he the Eastern European gangster from The Sopranos?)

-Re-signing John Lynch to a one year deal (Does this come with his walker and/or motorized cart in the contact?)

- DT Marcus Thomas (He wasn't signed, but got plenty of ink by being popped by 5-0 this weekend for coke. Yes, cocaine. Someone inform Mr. Thomas that the late 70’s NBA called and want their blow back. Was he snorting with Dirk Digler and Roller Girl? This comes from a player who was kicked off the University of Florida team during his senior year due to other transgressions. Apparently that didn’t scare Shanny off from bringing him into the fold. While the Broncos slowly morph into Bengals West, the man at the helm seems more and more like the coked up one.