Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Trade Deficit

We be the outcast,
Down for the settle.
Won't play the rock,
Won't play the pebble...

Possible trade options for the Denver Nuggets as the deadline looms, Pau Gasol looks for the elusive lost “l” in LA, and Shaq’s sucking wind causes dust storms in Phoenix:

-Jason Kidd- This deal appears like it could be the toughest to make happen due to both money who the Nets would want. Iverson’s name has been mentioned as a swap, but you’d be gaining a distributor and losing a huge scoring punch. Don’t say “punch” too close to Kidd.

-Ron Artest- NBA haters everywhere would laugh at the Nugs if this deal goes off and say the team more resembles an Oz episode. And the money issue could be a problem. But Artest’s stellar defense could be key in the playoffs to match up with the Kobes and other Western Conference stars. Plus, all paying fans would receive a copy of Ron Ron’s super fly rap CD at every game for the remainder of the year. (Seriously, I've seen one copy of this CD at a local used shop and the price has gone from 9.99 to 1.99 and it is still sitting there)

-Peter Forsberg- If the Avs are going to shell out millions to rent Foppa for the stretch, they might as well get their money’s worth and make him play for the team across the hall. Exactly what the Nugs need, a physical, gritty (sometimes dirty), dead on shooter with speed. The skates might ding up the hardwood, but he’ll adapt.


-Air Bud- Who wouldn’t want to play with a lovable cute doggy? He can dunk, score from the perimeter, and has better hair than Anderson Varejo. He could probably avoid technicals for humping Tim Duncan’s leg because, well, he’s a dog.

-Mike Miller- Like Kyle Korver to Utah, this deal makes the most sense. The Nugs haven’t had a reliable #2 who could score from the outside since Walter Davis roamed the McNichols floor. Miller, a teammate of Carmelo on the Team USA, could provide the deep threat and command the opposition’s attention while Melo and AI slash to the basket. And if you squint, he looks like your high school lunch lady complete with a mustache.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As far as Artest goes, let me drop a name for you.

Ruben Patterson. Exact same player. Only this one costs even more money and is slightly crazier.

I honestly don't see why the Nuggets should make any moves at all. There's a reason they signed Chucky Atkins. Plus, if JR Smith ever played consistently, I think we'd see a much improved shooting team.

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about Teen Wolf...Scott Howard. That dude rocked. You have him, Air Bud, Jimmy Chitwood, Juwanna Mann, and one of the monsters from Space Jam? Bring AI and Melo off the bench. Champions.

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ruben patterson "the kobe stopper" didnt have an eighth of the skills Ron has. Getting Chucky A and Nene back is like a trade anyway- stand pat Nugs fans

7:58 AM  

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