Who Gives a Fu*k About a God Damn Grammy?

Well, it's the verbal Herman Munster
The word enhancer, sick of phony mobsters controllin' the dance floor
I been in dark places, catch you when you stark naked
Your heart races as we pump you for your chart spaces...

SG handicaps tonight's rap nominees at the Grammy's:

Best Rap Solo Performance
(For a solo Rap performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
* The People
Common
* I Get Money
50 Cent
* Show Me What You Got
Jay-Z
* Big Things Poppin' (Do It)
T.I.
* Stronger
Kanye West

SG Keeps on Taking It- This is virtually a lock for Kanye, with some writers claiming “Stronger” is a “triumph.” Exaggeration, anyone? A little shione for Milk D and Audio 2 would be well-deserved with “I Get Money” taking the trophy.

Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
(For duo, group or collaborative performances of Rap only. Singles or Tracks only.)
* Southside
Common Featuring Kanye West
* Make It Rain
Fat Joe Featuring Lil Wayne
* Party Like A Rockstar
Shop Boyz
* Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You)
UGK Featuring OutKast
* Better Than I've Ever Been
Kanye West, Nas & KRS-One

SG Keeps on Taking It: Immediately throwing out “Make It Rain” and “Party Like…” and this is a pretty strong field. A sentimental pick might be Pimp C and UGK for “International…” and “Southside” might be Finding Forever’s strongest track. But if the Grammy’s want to do this right, The Teacha and the best top ever bless a mic, Rakim should be holding the award.

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
(For a Rap/Sung collaborative performance by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)
* I Wanna Love You
Akon Featuring Snoop Dogg
* Kiss, Kiss
Chris Brown & T-Pain
* Let It Go
Keyshia Cole Featuring Missy Elliott & Lil' Kim
* Umbrella
Rihanna Featuring Jay-Z
* Good Life
Kanye West Featuring T-Pain

SG Keeps on Taking It: This is just a freaking lame ass category to begin with. Somewhere Nate Dogg and TJ Swan are wanting theirs.

Best Rap Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)
* Ayo Technology
50 Cent and Justin Timberlake
* Big Things Poppin' (Do It)
T.I.
* Can't Tell Me Nothing
Kanye West
* Crank That
Soulja Boy
* Good Life
Kanye West f/T-Pain

SG Keeps on Taking It: If Soulja Boy wins this, The Commish will rock the sunglasses with the White Out, make a dance called “Drank That” and maybe just give up on this Hip Hop shit forever...yooooooooouuuuuuuuu.

Best Rap Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
* Finding Forever
Common
* Kingdom Come
Jay-Z
* Hip Hop Is Dead
Nas
* T.I. vs T.I.P.
T.I.
* Graduation
Kanye West

SG Keeps on Taking It: Seeing Nas get his would be well-deserved, but sticking with my own year end best, I’d say Common would get over. However, this again is Kanye’s to lose, he’ll probably petition the Gammy’s to rename the rap section the Kanyeys.