5280: Dog Days

You know I ain't ashamed and you know I ain't bashful
So go on and pop the forty so I can pour me a glassful…

The SG Summer Mission entered the dog days of summer with serious questions, as well as serious drinking by a handful of members. Two-time Slushy Gutter Winner JL Smooth celebrated his birthday with a bevy of Blue Moons, CLs and games of shuffleboard. He also became the first member to pass the 528 mark, blowing past it by Friday night. Across town, Trav took it a bit easy, finally polishing off his Milwaukee’s Best. He then endured more poker tourneys and mass amounts of CLs before taking a mulligan on Sunday.

Current Slushy Gutter Winner Jeez Steve spent most of his week dealing with appliance issues. However, as the old saying goes, when buying or installing dryers, drink plenty of Bud Lights. That’s exactly what he did, coming in at 60+ for the week.

Broz may be on the hottest streak of the crew, pushing near the half-century mark. The bulk of Broz’s beers came Sunday, when he heckled one Nomar Garciaparra beyond reproach down at Coors Field. CommishCH swilled his high mark of the challenge, as he tallied 50+ during a mountain respite to Glenwood Springs, CO. Although not as rowdy as years past, ice cold CLs were swilled at 9,000 feet in Marble, as well as the requisite Bud Lights with the hippies in Carbondale.

Former two-time Slushy Gutter Winner TDub came in at a respectable 25+, with a nice chunk playing NCAA 2008. Former Slushy Gutter Winner Pickles didn’t fare too well, posting under 20 for the week. Former two-time Slushy Gutter Winner JBiz, the proud new Papa, recorded the lowest tally with four. He is excused due the circumstances.

And finally, the SG Summer’s bottom feeder Slick Rip informed us after his piddly 20 beers that he would be taking the next four weeks off from the count. What!? There’s no breaks in the Mission! With that, we are down to six steady members, one new dad, and one more with another on the way. The Mission is looking tougher as we roll into August and five weekends remaining. The math is looking a bit fuzzy. Guest passes may be forthcoming, and more beers will be swilled. (3215)