Ashy Wednesday

I smacked a 40 ounce, out of a young man's hand
and fed him lessons of life to formulate a plan
and wore the Prime Meridian as a wrsit band...

For Lent, I won't be drinking anymore...and I won't be drinking any less. What some Colorado sports personalities will be giving up for Lent:

Colorado AD Mike Bohn: Please give up looking at all these minor CU Hoops coach candidates. The dude from Wyoming, Salami from the White Shadow, and Coach Sawchowski from the YMCA won't cut it in the Big 12...brother.

The Denver Nuggets: No tattoos for the next 40 days. If you make it through, you can get a fresh "40 Days and 40 Nights" tat on your back with a wicked looking skull or something.

Dan Hawkins: No caffiene, no anonymous letters, and no going for it on 4th and goal.

Joel Quinvelle: Give up that Magnum PI mustache for the next month and half and maybe your team can climb out of the outer regions of the NHL playoffs. Or maybe the team will mistake you for Ronald McDonald's dad.

Clint Hurdle: Say 10 Hail Marys and just give up period. If the Brothers Monfort can't commit to bringing a winner, then you and your flavor saver should go Ricardo Patton and put it on auto pilot. Hell, Jim Leyland used to smoke in the dugout, maybe you could spark up a bong.

Todd Helton: Give up hoping to play for the Red Sox or any other contender. Sorry, Todd, but no matter what you do your stuck here in baseball hell. You must've not took this Lent thing serious in your younger days to get this punishment.

George Karl and the Nuggets again: It appears you've already gave up playing defense, so go ahead and forsake all chances of advancing past the first round...again.