Thursday, June 09, 2011

Ticket Offense



I breaks it down, I gets loud for my crowd
Filthy, dirty like a worm underground


Recently the Rockies ticket office was deemed the worst in MLB in terms of sales and customer service. The SG decided to test it out ourselves with a call into the Rockies ticket line:

CR: Yeah
SG: Is this the Rockies' ticket office?
CR: No dude, this is Brett. But most call me Socket Wrench.
SG:
OK. I need some tickets to Sunday's game.
CR: I need some Advil. Went to the Paramount last night and downed too many Jack and Cokes.
SG:
How about that game Brett?
CR: Socket Wrench.
SG: Yes, how about some tickets?
CR: For what?
SG: Sunday's game.
CR: Man, isn't there like a King Soopers around you or something? Maybe get on Craigs List or something? My fingers are kind of creaky and I really don't want to type.
SG: I was just hoping to do it through you and you could help me get some good seats.
CR: Dude, call back after the weekend. I'm trying to go on break and solve today's Wuzzle in the paper.
SG: The game is Sunday.
CR: Why are you being so lame dude? Damn. What the fuck? I'm trying to help you. Ohh, man the dude next to me just blew ass. That's freaking sick Stan!
SG: Uhhh...
CR: I think he ate some rancid fucking tacos! Oh says here Sunday's game is cancelled.
SG: What?
CR:Yeah, the Warriors team plane got hijacked.
SG:They're playing the Dodgers.
CR: Yeah, hijacked by the Dodgers. Tough luck bud. Maybe go play some golf instead you fuck.
SG: Can I speak to the supervisor?
CR: No, she's scoring us some acid for lunch break. Later dude.

RELATED: Cypress Hill - "Hand On The Pump" - ("Rude and crude like a pitbull")

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