Tuesday, March 15, 2011

March Sadness

It's been more than 36 hours since the raw dog f*cking of the CU Hoops team by the incompetents on the NCAA Selection Committee. Some of the thoughts that went through my head in that period:

-I want to puke.
-Maybe I should run a puke scam like that Lard Ass kid in Stand By Me, with the selection committee being right in the vomit path.
-Seriously, we didn't get a bid? (Then I started to look around my family room, like the bid was hiding in there somewhere. "Oh, look, no need to worry, the #11 seed was right over here behind the Elmo doll." This actually happenned.)
-Dude, this Gene Smith guy looks like a cross between Steve Harvey and the black dude from Barney Miller.
-Dude, this Gene Smith guy just talked about CU for a couple minutes and he might as well been reciting Spanish poetry. Do they make Cliff Notes for NCAA Jiberish Bullshit?
-Someone just punched me in gut.
-Oh wait, that was the neighbor's cat who lept onto my lap.
-Dammit, the cat just got a #15 seed.
-I hope Tad and Mrs Boyle saved some receipts, because there might be a lot of deli meat and potato salad that doesn't get ate.
-This is a grand conspiracy. Big 12 Commissioner is bitter, Wake Forest AD is bitter, Big Sky Commissioner is preoccupied. They all staged the moon landing.
-Man, Jay Bilas is pissed. If only their was a Super Robot Bilas we could unleash on the committee to take down their evilness.
-Man, Dick Vitale is worked up too. Wow, every damn analyst in the world is filled with angst. Someone must've promised them a case of Rocky Mountain Oysters or something.
-This is Dan Hawkins' fault.

RELATED: Illegal - "Head or Gut"



Anonymous Spotwood said...

Dumb as it sounds, I just kinda sat in front of my TV stunned.

Though the crazy mad angst that the ESPN's rolled out and least made it a little entertaining.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i will fight those dudes. every one of them NCAA varmits.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I just kinda sat in front of my TV stunned."

As opposed to your normal sitting in front of your TV playing video games, with a weed glaze on your face. With dorito remnants on your shirt.

Sniffle, sniffle. Their RPI and out of conference sked blew. Look on the bright side: The CU alums won't have to burn up those sick days at the local Subways and 7-11s to watch the tourney games. Don't worry, you got April 20th right around the corner to make life good again.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Boulder Creek Tailgater said...

Hey Anon- We won't mention you thought when they mentioned RPI all this time it was a new Arby's sandwich. Now little lambie, doesn't the combine need fixin or Timmy need resuin' from the well? Skeeeeeeeeeeee-daddle!

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Homonculus said...

Tim Tebow will make this right somehow.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous calvin natty light said...

Tim sent a muffin basket to the committee = #2 seed for the gators

12:08 PM  
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