Hooray! Not Real Football!

I put words together like Peter Jennings
And skate on motherfuckers like Peggy Flemming...

Thoughts and observations from last night's Broncos preseason game:

**Travis Henry- Dude looks like a man on a mission out there. Breaking tackles, hitting the hole hard, quick cuts. Either he's renewed or someone told him the Niners stole whatever substance he was taking back in 04 to get suspeneded. "Yo, Trav, I saw Michael Lewis snooping in you locker."

**Troy Fleming scored a touchdown. I really have no idea who he is, but he got in the end zone. He is not related to Peggy Fleming.

**Mike Nolan, the Niners' coach, didn't wear a suit. It was the first preseason game, he could've dressed like the construction worker from The Village People and no one would've cared.

**Jason Elam- He missed a 44 yard field goal before halftime. Could this be the beginning of the end for him? He's 37 years old and in the last year of his contract. Keep an eye on his performance throughout the year.

**Nate Webster and Louis Green looked good at the linebacker spots. Both we're flying to the ball and Green broke up the final Niners play. Between the two of them their helmets flew off about three times. Either Dove Valley is short on helmets and they're wearing Rich Karlis' old helmet or one of those helmet potato chip holders that your drunk friend always seems to wear.

**In the 2nd quarter and halftime I went for a run. A beautiful Colorado night was sullied when a goose shit on my Ipod. Fucking goose was probably a Chiefs fan.

**Yes, that was Patrick Ramsey. He of one pass attempt in 2006 didn't look bad. Surprisingly, he had quite the zip on his balls. (Insert juvenile humor now)

**There was a replay challenge late in the 2nd quarter. Challenges should be outlawed in the preseason. In fact, anything that slows down the game should be banned in the preseason. No two minute warnings, no timeouts. Scrap halftime, no introductions, shit, get rid of the 3rd quarter too.

**That was former Bronco Ashlie Lelie catching a ball in the 3rd quarter of a preseason ballgame. Next stop: Calgary Stampeders.