I Cook and I Chill

I'm genuine like Gucci, raw like sushi
To stage a rage is what rap did to me
To make me want to create chaos and mayhem
Cold rock a party until the A.M. ...

Colorado hockey fans are in a collective tizzy this am with the signings of Ryan Smyth and Scott Hannan. Smyth has been killing the Avs for what seems like years, and his leadership abilities will compliment captain Joe Sakic. There’s even murmurs of the “C” patch being transferred to Smyth after Super Joe hangs up the skates. Hannan will bring some blue line toughness and an aggressive style Avs’ fans haven’t seen since Adam Foote took his game to Columbus.

Longtime SG readers know I’m pretty much talking out my ass here, the only ice I really know is the massive coolers of beers I lug around. Truthfully, I don’t know crap about either of them except their flowing manes make them look like boutique owners in Cherry Creek rather than hockey studs. Did all the barbers in Canada go on strike?

The two of them parading around with their pseudo Fabio lettuce had me reminiscing of the classic MTV sketch series “The State.” Ahhh yeah, please welcome to the ice, your Colorado Avs, featuring Barry and LeVon. Now if you excuse me, I gotta whisper some sweet love to this pudding…