Occupy Slushy Gutter

We recently caught up with the leader of the ongoing Occupy Slushy Gutter movement and asked a few questions. Some snippets:

CH: What exactly does Occupy Slushy Gutter want?

OSG: We're tired of these lackluster teams in Colorado. Broncos, Rockies, Buffs. Hell the Nuggets don't even have enought players if they ever start. So we're staying right here until something is done.

CH: Right here...on a blog that is read by barely anyone, you're "occupying" it?

OSG: We figured there might some residual beers. A couple dudes like Wu Tang. Plus, they kind of discourage this type of thing everywhere else.

CH: The other day when I was backing out of the driveway, one of your guys was crapping in my front yard.

OSG: Yeah, sorry about that. That Chinese joint down the way was giving him some problems.

CH: What about the Rapids, they did win the MLS Cup.

OSG: In that case, the Maple Elementary Mathletes won the Math Olympics too.

CH: Are you using social media to advance this movement?

OSG: I did reconnect with this skank from high school. That ended up well for me.

CH: Has the move to Tim Tebow affected your followers?

OSG: We made a statue of him out of the spare beer cups and Twizzler wrappers. There's a group of the occupiers who chant and pray around him now.

CH: The Avs are off to a great start, does that play into your strategy?

OSG: Does Patrick Roy still play for them?

CH: No.

OSG: Well then we're protesting their use of ice for other than in my beer cooler.

CH: Fight the power.

OSG: Most of my heroes don't appear on no stamp! When do you think that beer is coming round?

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