Marshall Plan

Don't live in a world... of hate hate hate

Pull yourself together... and get yourself straight...

The NFL and Commissioner Roger Goodell level a swift and hard pimp slap on Broncos' wideout Brandon Marshall for conduct unbecoming of the league. Three games is what Marshall and the Donks must endure without his services. It can't be all that bad, can it? For each bad part of Brandon Marshall being out, there is undoubtedly a flip side?

BAD: Brandon Marshall is the Broncos best player; your chances of winning an NFL contest decrease without your best player.
GOOD: The Kerry Colbert Era begins in full effect.

BAD: Marshall and QB Jay Cutler developed a great on-field repertoire last season.
GOOD: Oakland fans won't be able to chant "Big Mac, Big Mac, Big Mac" and dress as a cross between Darth Vader and the Hamburglar.

BAD: Teams will stack up to stop the run knowing the Broncos lack a true deep threat.
GOOD: Brandon will be able to wear a lot of snazzy ball caps and headbands along the sidelines while chatting up the practice squad long snapper.

BAD: It could be up to three games without Marshall.
GOOD: With counseling, it might be reduced to two games.
BAD: In counseling he could meet Switchblade Sid, who might introduce him to crack.

BAD: Fantasy dorks everywhere will argue whether he should slip to the second or third round.
GOOD: He will slip to the third round, where The Commish will select him.
BAD: He will slip on a Whopper wrapper at an off-suspension dinner and injure himself for the year.

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Big Mac not the Whopper, peace to Big Poppa"