Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Calipari is the Culprit

At the age of 19, heard the scene
A lot of M.C.'s that do not come clean
Fronting on dealing hard times in rhymes
You see him in the streets and you see no signs...

John Calipari, what the fuck?

Your strange coaching decisions at the end of yesterday’s NCAA Championship game has left a stench here in Colorado and across the Big 12.

By allowing KU to come back and claim the crown, you have unleashed an arrogant, egotistical, snooty behemoth on us: the KU basketball fan.

Until now, they invaded the Coors Event Center en masse, cheered like giddy school girls seeing Omarion, chanted strange slogans that made no sense, waved their arms like “waves of wheat”, and left our building like a John leaves a cheap hooker.

Now, with their new found title, they will amp up that disdain for, as they deem us, Colorado college basketball unsophisticates, us lowly mountain folk who don’t know the difference between Paul Pierce and a pierced eyebrow, an alley oop from a mountain bike loop, or rock chalk from Birkenstocks.

Thanks Cal, the sea of blue with their 2008 National Championship t-shirts will grow in size, many of whom will finally retire those always fresh Danny Manning caricature t-shirts from 88. The few remaining of us Black and Gold supporters will be further tempted to sell our ducats to the masses flocking in from Oakley, Goodland, Russell and every point in between blowing tumbleweeds and Slushee-dispensing Kwik-E-Marts in Western Kansas.

Dammit John. I’ll have to listen to how Bucknell was actually the best low seed ever, how many damn KU players are in the NBA, how KU is a direct descendent of the inventor of the game, and how us Colorado folk should just be honored to have the Jayhawks even set foot in our usually empty gym. If it gets to the level of Nebraska football fans, John, I just might fight you.

Thanks John. And did I mention there’s not even any beer there anymore to soothe my ringing ears and painful eyes?



Anonymous poop de jour said...

Im pretty sure Paul Pierce has been pierced a few times- about 20 times outside a nightclub once

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Homonculus said...

So who gets the mummy treatment, and when? If I might be so bold as to offer a suggestion, I think CU vs. West Virginia is going to be a Thursday night game this year.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous boulder creek tailgater said...

it's the other dude who is the Mummy, not the Commissioner. Im sure he'll be along at some point.

Anyone know if Noel Devine is back with WVU for that game?

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Spotwood said...

I don't see anything showing he was ever suspended for that assault arrest, so I'm sure he'll be with the team.

12:03 PM  
Blogger Commish CH said...

^Poop- damn, that's cold. funny though

^Homon- That would be former two-time SG Winner T-Dub, beat him by a point. The choice of game is up to him- maybe he'll bless us with his presence and let us know when.

^BCT- That Devine guy might be the fastest cat to ever come into Folsom. Guy is sizzlin

^Spotty- Noel beats some dude's ass pretty good right? If that was in Boulder, they'd already have him out the door.

5:48 PM  
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