You Can't Spell Colorado without Tulo

I flows, so one of my shows, wouldn't be clever to miss
I'm leavin competitors pissed
To tell you the truth, it gets no better than this...

Now that Troy Tulowitzki has six years and tons of coin to stay here in the Great State of Colorado, here's a few things he may want to consider or get used to:

1- Change his intro song from R Kelly's "I'm A Flirt" to anything; hell, the freaking Barney theme would be better.
2- Drive like you've been in snow before, or real Coloradoans will bitch about all "you damn California drivers clogging up the highways"
3- You'll be playing with every conceivable 2nd baseman from Jason Nix to Jason Preistly to Preist Lauderdale to Priest Holmes to Larry Holmes to Larry Walker to Walker, Texas Ranger.
4-Send 3B left fielder Ryan Braun of the Brewers a big fat photo of your new contract and a another of your NL Champs' ring.
5- Since Derek Jeter is his idol, start banging more Hollywood starlets.