Sauerbrun Era is Over

Cause some don't agree with how I do this
I get straight and meditate like a Buddhist
I'm droppin flava, my behavior is hereditary
But my technique is very necessary…

Another storied chapter in the Colorado sports scene came to an end yesterday when the Broncos released punter Todd Sauerbrun. No doubt we will soon see Todd’s pudgy grill emblazoned on a downtown building alongside those of Terrell Davis, Carmelo Anthony, and Joe Sakic.

How we’ll miss his almost incoherent rants and answers when appearing on local talk shows. Sometimes it’s as if we’re listening to the Bob Costas’ Bizarro-world twin given the depth of his conversations.

I’ll fondly remember his career highlight: punting and kicking to the most feared return man in the league and then watching said returned hurdle over him en route to a touchdown. How perhaps those kicks sealed the Broncos’ fate as a non-playoff participant.

The short kickoffs, the low angled punts, the punt touchbacks. All cherished memories in the annals of Denver sports lore. Of course, who can forget him allegedly roughing up a Denver cab driver over $8.35? Who hasn’t wanted to beat down a cabbie?

Even saying his name was fun: Sauerbrun. Kind of like a German pastry or a knock off of Lemon Heads candies. New Sauerbrun Lemon Heads, chock full of roids and sweet goodness! Goodbye Todd, there’s a spot for you on the SG Ring of Fame. Now, can someone find Mike Horan?