Saturday, April 28, 2007

Yard Sale!

A pair of bright phat yellow Air Max
Hit the racks, stack 'em up Son, $20 off no tax...

This weekend the Broncos held a defacto yard sale: selling old gear, uniforms, memorabilia, and the like at Invesco Field here in Denver. Mainly a lot of old jersies, media guides, and a bunch of old crap that the Broncos thought they could make a buck or two on. You know, these NFL teams are strapped, every dime hels. Among the standards were these little known gems:

**Dan Reeves Game Plan Sheet from Oct 5, 1986: Consists of three plays: Halfback dive, punt formation, and FG formation.

**Vance Johnson’s blouse: Remember the gear Dave Chappelle wore as Prince in that skit? Vance was “mad fruity” like that back in the day. It was found wedged in Pat Bowlen’s couch.

**Burnt out tanning bed bulbs from Mike Shannahan's office.

**Terrell Davis’ Gold Club VIP Card.

**Scores of single shoes belonging to Rich Karlis. Perfect for those people who may have two left feet!

**Fur Coat: Pat Bowlen’s snazzy fur coat from the 1986 AFC Championship. Dry cleaning may be required to clean off rank Milkbone smell.

**One Honda Element owner’s manual. Initials on front cover read "JP".

**Hampster Bones: The remains are believed to be from a hamster that Sammy Winder raced in 1986. The Hamster, dubbed Mississippi Muddy, won handily.

**Dog Toys: found in Brian Griese’s locker

**Assorted batteries: From the 1994 season; hurled at Wade Phillips

**Ted Gregory: Not a picture, or a jersey, but the actual Ted Gregory, the Broncos first round pick in 1988. He’s been hanging around doing nothing since then.

**Stickers: Jake Plummer kept all the stickers he refused to put on his helmet in a nifty manila folder. There might even be some Garbage Pail Kids or Hello Kitty in there!

**Clarence Kay’s state/city records (forklift recommended)

**Assorted “vitamin” tackle boxes: Used by Bill Romonowski and Lyle Alzado. Perfect to hold your daily supply of vitamins!

**Gerald Wilhite’s Gheri Curl activator.

**One blue wig that belonged to Clinton Portis’ mom or perhaps it belonged to former safety Tony Lilly.

Labels:

20 Comments:

Anonymous Quinton Griffin said...

I went and got an autographed picture of Frankenstein. Oh wait, that's me.

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Blogger Dj Triple Threat said...

You should do gutter slush t-shirts.

I think Im do greasy silk jawns.
Wachu thaink?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's amazing what Bronco fans will pony up for. Is it really critical you have Greg Kragen's practice jersey? I sure hope Mr Bowlen donated the $$$ to charity.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Hercules Rockefeller said...

Excellent

11:15 AM  
Blogger JT said...

Hilarious! I love it. You know I have an old orange nerf football on display at my dad's house autographed by both Gerald Wilhite and Vance Johnson. Seriously. He keeps it next to one of those crappy 80's paintings of chicks faces that Vance did back in the day.

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Anonymous Oona said...

You write very well.

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