Friday, August 11, 2006

Requisite Maurice Clarett Post

Freaking the funk, I be the ill funk freaker
With the diabolical sound coming through your speaker
Bulletproof ready for action, no fronting
Fully loaded Tec loaded ready to go hunting...

We’ve all been transfixed by the Maurice Clarrett situation coming out of Ohio. Somewhere, they once promising RB’s situation went awry and he know borders in between the sad, the crazy, and the dangerous side of the sports pages. Coach Shanny of our local professional football franchise made a Mandarich-sized blunder in last year’s draft and gave MC a chance, drafting him on the 3rd round. Maurice didn’t even make it out of training camp, which coupled with Wednesday’s events, has some Broncos relieved that he is finally behind bars, including safety Nick Ferguson,

"A couple of things were about to happen," Ferguson said. "Either he
was going to rob a bank or he was probably on his way down to Dove
Valley. . . . it's one of the two."

Nick…buddy… 1,261 miles between Columbus, Ohio and the Broncos training camp. If Maurice averaged 75 mph, with stops to tinkle, grab some Chips Ahoy To Go cups, a 32 ounce Mr. Pibb, traffic through St Louis, a roadside Jerky stand in Goodland, and stop at the Mikasa Outlet Store, Maurice wouldn’t have arrived in Dove Valley until sometime this last Thursday. At that time, you and the rest of the team would’ve been safely in Detroit (hmm, you don’t see that in a sentence much) and whoever remained at Broncos HQ could’ve easily outwalked Maurice and his 6.1 40-time.

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