Thursday, November 17, 2011

Embree Family Ties

I smash teeth,
Fuck your beef,
No relief,
I step on stage girls scream like I'm Keith...

One of the subplots of the CU versus UCLA game this weekend is Jon Embree will be facing his son Taylor, who is a UCLA WR. Too bad he didn't come to CU, because we all know how much the father-son dynamic works on a football team. In honor of the matchup, pick which of the following is the plot from an 80s family sitcom and which is a football play:

--Taylor studies for a big test by taking "uppers" that allow him to stay up all night OR Jon allows his OC to call a screen pass 50 times in one game.

--Taylor wants an expensive shirt like his buddy Cockroach, but Jon suggests that he allows his sister to sew him a knock off shirt and hilarity ensues OR Jon calls his old employer Mike Shanahan to ask what he got into after another loss.

--Taylor goes camping with Boner and rides a suped-up dirt bike, angering Jon OR Jon completely runs out of defensive backs and plays every defensive play with eight linebackers.

--Taylor writes a story about drug use at his school, which earns the scorn of his principal, but soon everything is fine and Nancy Reagan comes to the school to speak of the dangers of drugs OR Jon designs a play which Tyler Hansen misfires the ball and hits the UCLA coach in the balls.

--Jon and Taylor leave the hardscrabble life or Brooklyn and move in with a wealthy ad exec in Connecticut, where Jon becomes the housekeeper OR Jon realizes his sophomore wideout is the only super talent on his team and goes one versus eleven.

RELATED: Tribe Called Quest - "Hot Sex on a Platter" - ("I'm large like a Huxtable")



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