Wednesday, February 03, 2010

American Buff Idol?

I swing it hardcore like an orangutan
I bring it wicked, and freak the funk slang...

As the Colorado football program slowly heads to its nadir of the last 30 years, last night saw a member of the squad incredibly flame out at the hands of Randy, Simon, Kara, and guest judge Victoria Beckham. On a side note, WTF happenned to Posh Spice? She used to be a nice dime piece, now she is the female Skeletor.
The Idol team was in Our Fair Town this past summer and the episode aired with a good number of contestants getting through. One highlighted was CU backup long snapper Austin Bisnow, who went by the more media savvy Austin Paul on the show.
Backup long snapper? Yes, we have a backup long snapper. He's not a tight end or 4th string linebacker who also snaps in emergencies, he's just the backup long snapper. My friend Kid Ci$co used to say the only job in football he'd want is to be the other guy on kickoffs who tells the guy who catches the ball to stay in the endzone, but I'd have to think backup long snapper would be right there too.
(In their feature about Austin, they showed him at Folsom snapping the ball. If you watch carefully, he executes a nice snap, a great hold is placed by the holder and then the kicker promptly shanks the kick worse than Mike Vanderjagt in the playoffs. Fitting.)
Austin went before the panel and belted out some non-descrpit tune and was promptly bombarded by the judges. If that sounds familiar, it is kind of like Austin's coach getting bombarded by media, fans, and alumni. You want accountability in Boulder for Coach Hawk? Fire Mike Bohn and bring in Simon as AD.
RELATED: Pharoahe Monch - "Simon Says"

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88 Comments:

Anonymous Boulder Creek Tailgater said...

The kick almost nailed Bis in the head! The Bis goes in there thinking he's John Mayer! Not like our football team can look any lamer right now though.

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Anonymous Spotwood said...

I disagree, this definitely makes our football look lamer. It's the perfect combination of complete and utter failure.

Hawkins' recruits aspire to be pop stars more than they do football players.

I salute the kid for putting it out there, but seriously, can we find somebody that wants to play some goddamn Big 12 football!

Pretty sure you won't see the 'necks in Texas or Oklahoma doing anything other than honing their games tyhis offseason. Makes me ache for the days of thugs and paid players.

If I wanted to live in fucking Boise I'd move there.

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