Kanye: Grammy Griper

If you don't know me by now I doubt you'll ever know me

I never won a Grammy, I won't win a Tony...

As per normal, The Grammy Awards were a huge downer for Hip Hop. The powers never seem to get the right nominees or simply take the top sellers in the genre for that year. The rappers that get all the critical and real Hip Hoppers love seem to get the shaft. But it is expected, as it's been going on for 20 years.

However, Kanye West is always a treat at the awards, as he can never stop complaining about something. Dude is selling records beyond most artists' dreams, getting mad dap from many corners, and yet still finds an opportunity to bitch. This time he slipped in that he should've won 'Best New Artist' during the presentation.

That wasn't all he had to complain or crow about either:

--When told that Chris Brown had been popped by the LAPD, he responded that he was popped by the Army National Guard earlier in the week. When told that Chris Brown had scored six TDs versus Nebraska, he said that he scored eight TDs versus the 1985 Bears.

--Kanye claimed M.I.A.’s outfit was made from his screen door.

--He was upset that Allison Krauss and Robert Plant won awards, because Kanye had a duet with Jimmy Page and John Bonham a few years ago. When told Bonham had died in 1980, Kanye said “that’s what was so cool about it, I can do a guest spot with the afterlife.”

--Kanye claimed the Grammy was not a phonograph, but a scale model of a dump he took in the Viper Room’s bathroom.

--He heard A-Rod was using steroids and Kanye admitted that he disguised himself as a beef cow, went throught the whole steroid/beefing up process, then escaped from rendering by using bovine karate.

--He was upset that there was no Bo Diddley type tribute to him, that BB King and crew owed the formation of blues, Memphis BBQ, and guitars to his intellect and the Bo Jackson commercials were originally supposed to be “Bo, you don’t know Kanye!”

--He claimed that Lil Wayne’s tribute to New Orleans was a tribute to him, as Kanye controls the weather patterns in the entire southeastern United States.

--When informed about how TI’s upcoming stint in jail might afford the Atlanta rapper a chance to reinvent himself and sell more records, Kanye said that he planned to be captured by the ancient Romans, who would then put him in a tower which would be surrounded by sharp thickets and dragons for 1000 years.

--He complained that Coldplay shouldn’t have won anything because they were British, and Kanye defeated the British in the 18th century.

RELATED: Diamond D - "Best Kept Secret" - ("Girls, get the panty and even wit a fanny and I might win a Grammy and, maybe I won't so I'll chill like the pope, see I'll neva mope cuz ya know my shit is dope")