Rick Neu: I'm Still Bitter

Little Sally Walker, sittin in a saucer,
Oh, how I tossed that ass up
Like a mission in the woods,
woody woodpecker would if he could,
But I didn't want to pass it up...

My old buddy Rick Neuheisel recently got named as Offensive Coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. Him and Brian Billick, what a pair! You know what they say about birds of a feather. I wonder if ol' Slick Rick mentioned any of these on his stellar resume:

1. Got the CU head coaching job by essentially flirting with the University President
2. Couldn't run the ball if he was handed OJ Simpson and the 1970's Steelers O-Line
3. Gambled in a HIGH stakes March Madness tourney and was fired for it
   
4. Told a locker room of his players to "say Merry Christmas with your headgear" before the 98 Aloha Bowl
5. Recruited during "quiet periods" when no recruiting was permitted
   
6. Once recruited 11 wide receivers and 2 o-Lineman in one class
7. Was censured by AFCA chairman Fisher DeBerry for "showing little remorse for his actions"
   
8. Downplayed his University's game with their chief rival
9. Never beat said chief rival
10. Made the entire state of Oregon hate him
    
11. Said he wanted to be to Colorado like Joe Pa was to Penn State
12. Lied to his boss about interviewing with the SF 49ers
13. Was chased all over the practice field by a frothing o-lineman who was covinced he was bringing the program down
14. Left his postion at Colorado while a flock of top notch blue chips were on their recruting visits
15. Oh, NCAA sanctions
16. Played as a scab for the San Diego Chargers during the 1987 NFL strike
    
17. Took over a top ten Big Eight program and left as a mid-dweller in the Big 12, where it still is today, nine years later
    
18. Initially sowed the seed for what would become the CU recruiting "scandal"
19. Perfected the art of "bumping" into recruits. (Oh, Bryan. I didn't know you'd be here...in you school...in this classroom.")
20. Again, more NCAA trouble, 18 violations to be exact
    
21. Was not allowed to recruit off campus as a result of NCAA troubles
22. Played QB for the San Antonio Gunslingers
23. Inner tubing, skiing, playing guitar on the job
24. Called Colorado, who gave him his first shot at Head Coach, a "have not" in D1
25. Was accused of tampering with his old players at CU by Gary Barnett
26. Forfeited an entire season of victories for using an ineligible player
27. Won a Rose Bowl behind QB Marques Tuiappososo, a player he recruited at CU...to play linebacker
28. Was caught by camera at a nationally televised game at Michigan going ape shit on his QB
29. Sued his former employer for $4.5 million..and won
30. Has a bad haircut
    

But I'm not bitter. I'm not, really. Great hire Brian, I'm sure Steve McNair and the fellas are going to love it.