D2 Hits Em Up

Chop the O, sprinkle a lil' snow inside a Optimo,
Swing the John McEnroe, rap rock'n'roll Tidy Bowl,
gung-ho pro, Starsky with the gumsole...

With Wimbledon wrapping up this past weekend, I asked my main dunn D2 about the lackluster state of American tennis:

"The problem with US tennis is that, since Sampras, there are no great American players to compete with the likes of Federer. Even Nadal, as great as he is, can't compete with Federer when Federer is playing well (except on clay). Roddick is a head case - he may be the biggest under-achiever in individual sports. I actually hate watching him play because he is such a big whiner and loses to players that he shouldn't lose to. Blake is probably better than Roddick right now, though he simply doesn't have the game to beat the top players. Despite the lack of great American players, I still enjoy watching it. I'm currently watching the Federer v Nadal match. Nadal is outmatched but he has the tenacity and fitness to outlast Federer if Federer doesn't stay sharp. Problem for Nadal is, Federer is the most consistent player on the tour; and at his best, he simply can't be beat on grass. "

(Note: We know this post doesn't have anything to do with the 3 main pillars that comprise the Slushy Gutter Summer. So we found the loophole that Andy Roddick is from Nebraska and is an acknowledged Husker fan. Everyone knows how we feel about those people, so piss on Andy Roddick, go James Blake and Maria Sharapova is like way hot.)

Maria Sharapova in SI Swimsuit Spread