Friday, November 03, 2006

Your Denver Nuggets

So who needs a partner or a sidekick?
When it comes to being funky, I got all that old fly sh*t
The rough and rugged, plus the pimp smooth rhyme
I polish opponents off like a shoe shine...

The final piece of the SG came into play last night, as the Denver Nuggets took on the LA Clippers. Let's take a quick look at your NBA Denver Nuggets for 2006-2007:

*Andre Miller- Reported to camp 15 pounds overweight. Miller time? Apparently it was Cheetoes time.

*Carmelo Anthony- Met his smoking hot fiancée through hip hop DJ Clue. Back in the day, through an old DJ friend, I met a strung out Goth chick.

*Nene- If your given name was Maybyner Rodney Hilario, you’d go by Nene too.

*Kenyon Martin- Battled with Head Coach George Karl throughout last year, was kicked off the team and then brought back. In effect, he is George Jetson to Karl’s Mr. Spacley. His pit bull is in fact, named Astro.

*Linus Kleiza- Sounds like a nasty skin rash. “Brah, I totally banged that chick in that field during the Phish show, and now I got Linuskleiza on my ass.” “Aww, bro, you need some Cipro for that sh*t.”

*Marcus Camby- While in college, he passed out due to too much Robitussin cough medicine. Hey, we’ve all been there. Late night, no beer left, you got a nice buzz. Keep that party going with some cough syrup. The cherry flavor rocks.

*Earl Boykins- The rage he feels from hearing Too Short and Disney's “It’s a Small World” played in each arena must be unbearable.

*Eduardo Najera- The only Mexican player in the NBA. Tom Tancredo says, “You see! I told you they would take our jobs!”

*Reggie Evans- F*ck with him, you get violated.

*JR Smith- Was on 3 teams the past 6 months: Denver, NO/OKC, and Chicago. If you rearrange those team abbreviations, you get “Dick Once Hon.” As in, “yo baby, I’m only gonna be in town for a bit, let’s dick once hon.”

*Julius Hodge- Totally crossed Syracuse off his recruiting lists when he thought of a few years being called Orange Julius.

*Yakhouba Diawara- He’s from France. So think Tony Parker. Only without the game. And without Eva Longoria. And without the rings. Yeah, he’s from France.

*Joe Smith- Once the #1 overall pick in the NBA. Now he’s the #1 player not to play every game.

*Jamal Sampson- Ralph Sampson’s and Jamal Wilkes love child? No, just some guy probably bound for the Idaho Stampede.

*Dermarr Johnson- His NBA bio says, “Fan of hip-hop music and video games.” No freaking way! It’s the good to see such diversity in the NBA.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You tell Camby to save some of that Robitussin for me. Plus he went to UMass, ahhhhhhhhhh

4:11 PM  
Blogger Kodijack said...

Whats scary is that at least 25% of the time Earl is our best player. ugh.

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