Ron Mexico...Colorado Rockie?

F*ck that, why try, throw bleach in your eye
Now ya braille in it, stash that light shit, or scalin it...

A little known fact is Michael Vick was drafted in the late rounds by the local Colorado Rockies. We wonder how that would've turned out...

-Base runners might be a tad uneasy in trying to steal second if Vick is playing SS with a rabid pitbull on a rusty chain.

-Humidor is key for storing special water bottles that hold the sticky icky.

-No more playing in the long shadow of legend Steve Bartowski.

-Large Hispanic fan base would love to cheer “Viva Mexico” each time he comes to bat.

-The Colorado Ice Arena Football club could be a perfect fit for younger brother Marcus.

-He’d be able to get huge leads at first due to the fact the 1B might not want to apply tags to his herpes infected body.

-Doesn’t have to play with people named after tiny oceanic organisms.

-When he flips off the Rockies fans with the double barrel fingers, he can claim it is simply the number of games back the Rockies currently are.

-Large number of McDonald’s that attract ahole High School kids provides hours of enjoyment for his younger brother Marcus.

-Pit Bulls might be banned in Denver, but that opens the door for Bad Newz Kennels: Commerce City.